Thoughts from a Child

Perfect black canvas overhead

Splattered with seemingly random pinpricks of white.

Sky-high beams,

Leaves tipped with moonlight.

A wave of utter insignificance washes over the body,

But with it comes peace, assurance, comfort,

Not agony or worry.

For a moment, I seem bigger than the world.

And in a moment, God shows me His awesome might.

With daylight comes mundane routines,

But nightfall brings surprises and a sharpening of the senses.

Why has the Creator given me this way of thinking?

Am I the only one?

Does everyone feel this way?

I'm desperate to know.

Never Again Will I Be Yours Truly

Dear Apathy,

While I appreciate your blatant suppression of my emotions at times, I believe it's time for you to pack up and leave my soul. You've overstayed your visit. Go!

What I thought was a relief from so much turmoil was in actuality a slow and deadly poison, creeping into my heart and mind and closing down every part of me that feels and thinks. I have realized in this process that I would much rather be acutely aware of my emotions and wear them on my sleeve for the world to see than to push everything so far down that I don't even know what Sorrow and Joy mean.

Why did you trick me? That wasn't very nice. You said it was temporary. You promised that you would only come around when it was necessary, and then you would ship right on out. Liar. You plagued my soul for 3 months, not allowing me to feel anything. Oh wait, that's right. You "conveniently" left when you knew the situation I was in would produce negativity in me. What a friend.

Speaking of friends, how did you and Depression like co-inhabiting my heart? You two seem to go hand-in-hand. Well, how about both of ya go hand-in-hand straight back to your master? Not to be rude or anything, but I didn't even invite him to stay here, and he wasn't a cheery guest to have around. In fact, he was downright awful. He sure liked to hang around after those situations aforementioned. Definitely didn't help the issues there.

Tonight, those emotions that you've caged up finally broke free. Regret rushed through me, crashing through the barriers that blinded me to what you were doing. He washed over my face, and my eyes were finally open. Open to your deceit, open to the present, open to what would happen if I allowed you to dominate my life, open to my past mistakes. The awareness sent a shock wave of Sorrow throughout my body. Remember that song that was being sung by a multitude of people while all this was going on inside me? Heaven Song by Phil Wickham. I'm pretty sure you remember it, because when Joy heard those lyrics and the hope that was intertwined in every word, she flowed through every vein in my body and warmed me. For the first time in a long time, I meant what I sang. I felt Peace.

Sure, these emotions may bring tears. They may be unpleasant. They possibly could be even be downright painful. But ya know what, Apathy? I think I can handle that.

Never Again Will I Be Yours Truly,

Olivia

Why Put a Lamp Under a Basket?

I have this stirring in me.

So much pent-up...potential earnest creativity wants to be freed.

I don't know how to release this desire. My hands can't handle it, nor are they skilled to handle this need for expression.

God, what do I do? All I want to do is create, and yet I have not the ability nor the talent to bring forth beauty.

Painting, drawing, sculpting, charcoal, even a simple decor project. I yearn for it, but I let a barrier get in my way.

I'm fearful of creating something ugly and failing at pleasing God with what I make.



I want to write something.

Something about the glory of God, something about how my life is changing, something for my (hopefully) future husband. A poem, a story. Anything.

My fear of sounding like an imbecile stills my hand from putting pen to paper.

My heart bursts with words wanting to be written and read, yet my mind overrules, telling me that whatever I write won't amount to being worthy of anyone's eyes.

Lord, rid me of these inhibitions. Let me bring You glory and honor and praise with all that I do without letting fear chain me down and discourage me.

One step at a time.